http://22a46nlzg54u1mffyur2fkts2w.hop.clickbank.net/
YOUR MARRIAGE SAVIOR
When a couple’s marriage is on the rocks, they typically seek advice
from friends, family and marriage counselors. After all, what better way
to save a failing union than to call on the experts?
According to relationship expert Mort Fertel, that’s precisely the wrong thing to do.
“Much of the
advice people get about their marriage problems is wrong. It sounds
good. It makes sense. The problem is, it usually doesn’t work,” Fertel
said in an e-mail to Huffington Post Divorce. “Reconciling a broken
marriage is tricky. The process is not intuitive. You really have to be
careful that the advice you’re following has proved to achieve the
outcome you’re looking for.”
Among the worst advice? Telling your husband or wife how you really feel.
“Sometimes expressing your feelings can be very hurtful to the other
person,” he says. “[People ask,] ‘But shouldn’t I be honest about my
feelings?’ If honestly expressing your feelings is hurtful to the other
person, it’s not honest; it’s stupid, it’s insensitive, and it’s
damaging to the relationship.”
What’s more,
Fertel says that traditional approaches to mending a broken marriage —
like marriage counseling — are ineffective because of their emphasis on
listening, rather than doing. He cites a couple that attended counseling
sessions for weeks, and who came out of the experience with a better
understanding of each spouse’s point of view — but no actionable steps
to fix their marriage.
“Listening is
an important skill, both for a counselor and a spouse. But a broken
marriage needs leadership. After listening, someone has to have the
courage and experience to say, “Ok, here’s what I want you to do,”
Fertel says. “Marriages change not because of what people say or how
well they listen; marriages change because of what people do.”
What he
suggests instead are six unconventional steps that run counter to
traditional relationship advice. Check out his tips below, then let us
know what you think of his advice in the comments!
Marriage Problems Marriage Divorce Advice Marriage Advice Marital Advice
